Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Input wanted, please!

Hi girls,

Today I’d like to hear your opinion about something that happened to me. Here's how it went:

In the middle of April I get in touch with another blogger. We’ve been commenting on each other’s blogs, and have now decided that it would be fun to do a swap. We email back and forth about what we like and what we don’t like, and we agree to swap for a certain dollar amount.

As we shop, we keep each other informed about the progresses we make, and by the beginning of May we’re both ready to ship it all off  to each other. We agree to ship it the cheapest way possible, in order to spend the saved amount on more polishes.

I send my parcel to her, and four days later, the girl emails me and tells me she shipped her parcel the day after I shipped mine. In the same mail she tells me that her mum has been in and out of the hospital, so it’s been a hectic couple of days for her.

Five days later I email her and ask her if she and her mum are OK. I receive no answer to that email.

Four days after I sent the email, she puts up a blog post where she mentions that “not so good life stuff is happening”. The following day she puts up two blog posts, but she doesn’t mention anything about her “personal situation”. She doesn't write any emails to me and she completely stops blogging after these two posts.

A month after I sent the parcel to her, I write her another email, asking her if she’s OK, and if she’s received her parcel. I also write that I haven’t received my parcel yet. I receive no answer to this email.

Nine and a half weeks after I sent my package, I suddenly receive an email from her. She writes that she’s happy with the polishes I sent her. She also knows I didn’t get my parcel and that the post office doesn't know why I never received it. She says she has shopped for another parcel for me, to make it fair. She writes that her mum has gone through surgery, and she and her mum have been out of town after that. Her mum is supposed to go through surgery again the day after, but the following day the girl will ship my new parcel and via airmail this time. She writes that she will send me a picture of the parcel this time. I never receive such a picture.

After that I’ve written six emails to her, which all remain unanswered.

Now it’s been 13 weeks since the first parcel was shipped, and 4 weeks since the second parcel supposedly was shipped.

I checked the shipping times on the Canadian postal service’s website, and it states that the cheapest shipping option takes 4-6 weeks for the goods to arrive in Denmark. And 6-10 business days if you ship via air mail.

Now – what would you think if you were me? And what would you do?


  1. Hmm... I'm not sure there's anything you can really do as far as the swap. Although the rest of us would like to know who NOT to trade with... I'd caution you about any names (which you already know of course, since you did sucha good job on this post!) Perhaps try contacting her through other means (twitter? facebook? her blog?) Be persistant but not pushy until you receive a response. (although at this point I'd be PO'd and pushy as hell) Kudos to you for keeping your cool and being respectful. :) Idk, at this point, if I were in your shoes, I'd begin requesting/demanding a refund for the polishes I sent via a trusted tender site (paypal?) and request her to hold her parcel and therefore cancel the trade.

    The only advice I have really is for future swaps... I'd recommend you request a delivery confirmation be attached to your parcel (and the confirmation number sent to you of course), along with photos of the swap package. I know it can come off as... standoffish, but I'm sure other bloggers will understand if you let them know you've had a swap go bad.

  2. I agree 100% with Joy's reply

    I have swapped with people all over the world & it is such fun, I'm sorry that this one went really badly for you. Hopefully karma gives them a nice kick up the arse in return & I would also love to know who it is so I can avoid them like the plague.

  3. I agree with the above..
    I have done swaps with beer with friends on RateBeer, and there you have a page, where you rate the swap. If someone is cheating this person is blocked from the site - I wish we had something similar in the polish world.
    So far I only did a few polish swaps, it has been with people that I really trust, so no problems, I feel so sorry for you in this matter...

  4. Oh, that's so sad... :( I agree with averything other girls already commented, but the main thing I'm sooo impressed about is that even since it was 13 weeks in between, you are still SO SO SO respectful! =)) Seriously, I'd be bitchin' like crazy by now! But you did this so great, now this girl can see that you are really such a cool person and she might write back and send you something after all if she really had troubles before. I hope so, but in case she really doesn't reply to you even from now on, I'd consider about trusting your readers her name, well not the real name, but her "blogger" name and her blog, so she doesn't trick other people as well. But hands down, you're the coolest person for not starting a drama!!! =))

  5. No excuse for that behavior. :(

  6. I agree with other girls.
    What would I do? Only wait... :(

  7. THere's nothing you can do.unfortunately it seems like you've been taken advantage of. I would write a post telling the world to never swap with her so others don't have the same issue. It's a risk you take when you swap. You hope that you are able to trust that other person but you really don't know them other than some emails and a blog. Write the post, warn others and be very wary of who you swap with in the future. I have done many swaps with quite a few different countries so there are honest people out there. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Again, write the post warning us all and try to get past it.

  8. That really sucks! It looks like you are the victim of a swaplifter! I don't think there is anything that you can do. You can continue to email her with the hope of getting a response but it doesn't sound positive! I feel really bad for you because you are such a nice person and awesome swapper! BLAH! :(

  9. That's terrible, why do some people have to spoil things? I bet whoever she is will be reading this and all the responses that are made, if so: shame on you.

  10. That is shocking! I think she is being a total bitch to be honest and took you for granted. If you don't get anything in the next week or so then you should name and shame her. There is no excuse for that kind of behaviour and it'll help stop her taking advantage of other kind people like you.

    I'd email her and tell her that this is what you are going to do to and that it's not right what she is doing. I think she is a fraud and to be honest I would be furious!

    If the package arrives (which does sound doubtful!) then you can always post again to rectify the situation but I think you are better off naming and shaming her.

    I feel so bad for you though because you are such a lovely blogger and do not deserve to be treated like this.

  11. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

    I have had international swap parcels take up to eight weeks to reach me, so I'd wait that long for this second package. If it doesn't arrive and she doesn't respond to e-mail requests at that point, I'd send a postcard (since you have her address) stating that since you haven't received the items agreed upon, you would like to be reimbursed for your end. A postcard sometimes works in situations like these because anyone in the house can read the message and if she's living with someone more responsible than she is guilt may spur her to make good on her end.

  12. Jeg håber næsten der er sket noget forfærdeligt! Øv altså, hvor er det bare træls for dig :( Håber ikke du blir skræmt af denne dårlige oplevelse...

    Ha en dejlig aften :)


  13. Hi Luv, I just found your blog and love it!!

    I've had a similar problem without the whole not staying in contact part. I set up a swap and sent my package to the uk. Spent 35.00 just to shop. I should of got insurance but believed it would be okay. It wasn't I received my box but she didn't... I felt horrible... It was a lot of money that was wasted. ugh.... Now I'm saving my pennies to send another box. I hope this all works out for you

    I will be following! I will make sure I check out your sponsors or adds (if any) to show some luvin!

    Hope your having a beautiful day!!!

  14. I'm sorry you have had to go through this experience :-( I liked Karen's idea of sending her a postcard since she doesn't seem to be replying to your emails. I would ask to be reimbursed and also warn her that you will name and shame her on your blog unless you receive your parcel/money etc.

  15. Definitely sounds suspicious. :( I've been on the other end in a bad swap...I got my package and she didn't get hers. I still feel terrible about it and I haven't done another swap since. :/ But I always kept in contact with her, and that's why I think this girl has taken advantage of you...if it really was a case of lost mail and she felt bad about it, she would make an effort to keep in touch with you and make it right. It sounds like she's hoping you'll stop e-mailing her and forget about it, so I would continue to e-mail her and eventually name her publicly if she continues to ignore your e-mails.

  16. Oh gosh, I'm sorry your swap turned out to be so much trouble. The fact that she never replies to your emails sounds suspicious. I think the chances of you receiving anything from her at this point is probably small, but it's a lesson learned for future swaps. I agree with everyone that mentioned delivery confirmation, and also getting pictures of the swap package with the shipping label on it.

    ~ Yun

  17. Aww hun :( that's awful. Sadly this is why I don't do swaps because I know I would probably be ripped off. It does sound very suspicious and I agree with what the other ladies have said about naming her. I think other bloggers need to be aware of who not to swap with. x

  18. Sorry this happen to you! I would be suspicious because she isn't replying to your emails. I could understand that her mother was sick, but being out of town isn't the best excuse - I'm sure she made sure to get online and pay bills, etc. I would send her one more email, stating that if you don't have proof of shipment that you are going to post her information as a warning to others. Even if she didn't insure the package, she should have kept the receipt. I do a lot of international blog sales and I always keep the receipt and let the person know the customs form number. Good luck, and keep us posted! :0/

  19. Ohhh.... Im so sorry to read this!!b And I really do feel bad for her mom. But Im quite sure the swapper hasnt been totally honest with you :-( You should demand getting your money back. Tell her that you undertsand her difficult situation, not having time to shop and ship your polish.
    I really hope you push her a bit more and either get your money or your polish!!

  20. Thank you so much for all your replies, girls! I'm taking each and every comment into consideration. It seems that I'm not the only one that think it's odd that she doesn't reply to emails. I think that it's bad behaviour, to be honest.

    All my sympathy to her and her mum, but my main problem is the lack of communication here. The least she could do is to keep me posted, you know?

    I think I'll wait for a bit longer and then contact her again for a refund for the money I spent on her polish.

    And don't worry - this doesn't keep me awake at night. It just annoys the crap out of me to have the feeling that I've been taken advantage of.

    So thanks again - I'll keep you posted!! ♥

  21. I'm so sorry you have gone through this... I hope your package arrives... :(

    1. Me too, but I'm beginning to doubt it :(